it's alright, i guess

Just kidding. It's amazing. One the terrace at the top of the apartment building is a water tank. I climbed the ladder and am sitting on the ledge pre-writing my first post for my blog. Down below me on the terrace is a nineteen year old girl, Digisha, making potato chips by sundrying oil soaked potato slices on a tapestry. I'm looking out at the neighborhood slums that lie between the different apartment commuities like a sort of labyrinth. I see moneys jumping from rooftops teasing dogs and a muslim man praying with his two sons. I've been coming out to the terrace every morning to feed pigeons, read Emerson, and recite the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. I love being here.

Right now I am staying in the middle of the city in an apartment, which is on the top floor (5th). It is a simple two bedroom with a decorative front door, marble floors, and bars over the windows. I wish I knew how to adequately describe the architecture of the complex. The building forms a square shape, but with a hollow center. All the balconies face each other in the hollow center. I sit on the balcony and watch women hanging their saris to dry or playing with their children.There are lots of plants on people balconies and all are decorated differently, mostly with different hindu gods. There are, including myself, six people residing here. "mom" (grandmother), Nilesh (husband and father), Mona (wife and mother), Nishit (oldest son, 21), and Ankit (youngest son, 17).

Mom- Mom is beautiful. She has to be the most precious, endearing creature on the Earth. We don't speak the same language at all, but are sort of creating our own method of communication, which involves lots of hand gestures, giggles, and headbobs (side to side, not forward to backward like we do- an adorable difference worth noting). The first half of everyday she prepares meals and desserts for her god. The second half of the day she tries giving me her god's leftovers. I share a bed with her. Before she wakes up in the morning she sleep talks in hindi.
Nilesh- Nilesh is a jolly man. He is very friendly and loves watching Indian mysic videos and likes ketchup.
Mona- Mona is lovely. She runs two montessori schools in the city. She is also an excellent cook and spends much of her time in the kitchen. My first day here she gave me the book "7 Habits of Highsly Effective People". weird. She is very close to Nishit. They have a sweet relationship and joke around alot. Her sons make her whole being light up. Its really beautiful.
Nishit- Nishit is really hip. He studies Pharmacology and plays both real cricket and virtual cricket. When he is bored he plays cards with me.
Ankit- Ankit is totally shy and sweet. He is about to go to engineering school and is studying basic sciences right now. He plays virtual cricket too. He also tries to give me food all the time.

They all keep feeding me food! I think I've been eating like 7 full meals a day. I really don't know hot to avois it. I tried going up to the terrace, but they just wait for me. I've tried sleeping, but they come and wake me up. I've tried blocking my plate with my hands, but they move my hands and smack down another serving of a delicious indian delicacy on my plate. Declining food is really insulting. So... I eat. and eat. and then when I'm done eating and I wash my hands and sit on the couch in a comatose state I eat some more. Ah, so is life. I'm just going to sew some elastic on my pants and embrace this gluttonous time. I see little choice in the matter.

Mom just came and signaled to me to come take a nap with her. I'll continue this later...

[adorable]

Okay... so the roads here are so fascinating! I guess traffic laws might exist, but if so no one is aware of it. The family has one motorcycle, which Nishit drives around. To go places we signal an "auto", which is a three wheeler. Going on walks is also a blast, but the family is really protective of me and seriously freaks out whenever I leave alone. I get a cell phone tomorrow. I think that will help them feel better about my wandering.

Oh, time for a meal... I'll continue this after I eat.

[23 servings later...]

I've gone to Mona's montessori school a few times Their way with kids is very different than what I am used to. They probably think I'm silly for always letting the kids sit in my lap, but the kids seem to like me. They give me kisses on my cheek and smile when I show up, which makes my heart explode. The kids are SO CUTE. I taught a few of them "itsy bitsy spider". I can't even talk about it...

I found the most amazing dust pan the other day.

There is so much to say, but I am tired of writing and I think they want me to eat some more. I hope everyone is doing great! Thanks for reading. love youuuu

Also, I'm never using toilet paper again.

Onward

I leave for India today. I want to make it clear to myself that I am not going to India to look for answers. I think the kind of answers that are worth traveling across the world to find only really exist within the depths of our hearts, or souls, or that part of ourselves that is near impossible to define. and if we are not careful, the search for those answers becomes the search for something artificial and painfully glued to our self-image.

I'm excited. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see how I am somewhere so different. I'm excited to participate in the world in a place so unfamiliar. I'm excited to be lame old me in India. I'm so excited. I just wanted to share. My heart is bursting with excitement. Being alive is such a true treasure. I'm so grateful for the opportunity. I love you all and will try to post while I am gone.

i love my friends so much.

scrap paper treasures

i rode my bike through the cool autumn air and came home to a house full of flies. now i sit here, wearing my night like a gown, smelling of pheromones and drinking chamomile tea. i am the goddess of the flies. i came home tonight granting them eternal life.

a sleep deprived host and an insomnia induced house guest

not on drugs.

at home with piano, jewel, bunk beds, and a cup of chamomile tea.

hello readers. friends. peace monkeys.

i've been wanting to update for a while. last thursday was beautiful. before i left denton with my car packed tight with yarn and records, i sat with a handful of my friends and ate some delicious food and felt at home already. i think you are all so beautiful and amazing.

so i'm living with my parents again. i really like it so far. i sleep three feet from an old piano where i am learning beethoven's moonlight sonata and can bang the keys late into the night. i guess i don't really do too much banging though... its a soft song so far. I sleep in a bunk bed that I have decorated with tapestries and pillows. I'm about to curl up in my reading nook to write Monet a letter and read a short story. I'm sitting in the "game room" of my childhood, drinking chamomile tea, writing this blog, and feeling like i lost the ability to express myself.

one thing i love about this arrangement is that i get to have sleepovers when in denton. so... if anyone is up for a house guest, let me know. we can cook food and remember how happy we are to have been apart of each others lives.

shit

where did i go?