i love my friends so much.

scrap paper treasures

i rode my bike through the cool autumn air and came home to a house full of flies. now i sit here, wearing my night like a gown, smelling of pheromones and drinking chamomile tea. i am the goddess of the flies. i came home tonight granting them eternal life.

a sleep deprived host and an insomnia induced house guest

not on drugs.

at home with piano, jewel, bunk beds, and a cup of chamomile tea.

hello readers. friends. peace monkeys.

i've been wanting to update for a while. last thursday was beautiful. before i left denton with my car packed tight with yarn and records, i sat with a handful of my friends and ate some delicious food and felt at home already. i think you are all so beautiful and amazing.

so i'm living with my parents again. i really like it so far. i sleep three feet from an old piano where i am learning beethoven's moonlight sonata and can bang the keys late into the night. i guess i don't really do too much banging though... its a soft song so far. I sleep in a bunk bed that I have decorated with tapestries and pillows. I'm about to curl up in my reading nook to write Monet a letter and read a short story. I'm sitting in the "game room" of my childhood, drinking chamomile tea, writing this blog, and feeling like i lost the ability to express myself.

one thing i love about this arrangement is that i get to have sleepovers when in denton. so... if anyone is up for a house guest, let me know. we can cook food and remember how happy we are to have been apart of each others lives.

shit

where did i go?

the absolute

complete acceptance of what has come and what is to come. no animosity towards any person who has ever entered my life, but complete love and acceptance and understanding. the realization that we all do the best that we can do. the eagerness to learn everything that my brain can absorb. this explosive excitement to live as beautifully and as freely as possible with forgiveness and understanding at the forefront of my heart. this lasting desire for exploration. the certainty that my childish wonder will never fade.

the cloud has passed. I have felt this way since 7:20 yesterday evening when i got off of work early and watched the sun go down.

on an important note

today marks my 10th menstruation anniversary. That is right... September 4th, 1998 I started my period.