i've been reading this book on midwifery that my mom got me for christmas. tomorrow bennett is going to holland and eli and i are headed to a sufi farm to pick up joanna and carl. from there we will head to eli's treehouse in east berlin, pennsylvania. then to philadelphia then new york city for the new year.
i like being here. i always stay up late when i'm here. last night i went to bed at 6 am. i haven't remembered what day it is for a few days now. this house is really quiet. eli is sleeping and bennett is in the basement. i usually really enjoy the night time. there is so much room for thought and creativity. and there are so few distractions that it is easy to feel connected and aware. but tonight i think i'm feeling a little too strongly for my comfort level.
everyone is in their own places. living their own lives. some of the boys are on tour. some of the girls are headed to seattle. some are hanging around denton. i'm here feeling very connected to myself but so distant and disconnected from everyone that i care about. it is just sort of strange.
it is really this feeling of disconnection. it makes me lose faith in a lot of things. and it makes me doubt connection ever having existed. which makes my perspective even more dim. i also don't feel like this entry accurately portrays where I am at. this blog is disconnected too.
i look forward to tomorrow. seeing joanna and seeing the farm will be encouraging.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
meow
this past week as felt the same for me too. sort of unsettling.
Post a Comment